Often times we go in search of love outside ourselves. We forget that no one can love us exactly the way we like to be loved – but us. Know that when you aren’t getting “heard” the way you need to be from another, it may actually mean that you are not accepting the fact that it is not their job to love you – the way you want to be loved. That is your job. They only know how to love you the way they like to be loved. If we are in a relationship that doesn’t seem nourishing, we need to ask ourselves why we got into it in the first place. The partner we ultimately choose should be seen as “icing on the cake.” If we decide to let him or her into our lives, it must be without expectations for how we are to be loved.
What commonly happens when a relationship gets lopsided, is that communication goes awry. People can’t see eye-to-eye, and even the most thought out conversation points get taken the wrong way, or not received at all. This is what it means to seek water from a dry well.
Although it hurts, and we’ve all done it, we can’t beat ourselves up for not being able to understand or “get through to” the person we love. And if just one of you is uninterested in being completely vulnerable (of really opening up), then it simply won’t work. Disappointes will prevail. This is why sometimes you just have to let go of even the most seemingly good-natured deed: to more deeply understand and emphasize with another. No matter how much you love them, there really is only one solution: stop trying to get water from a dry well.