It is important that we honor our alone time even if we are extroverts who thrive around others. It is important that we honor time with others even if we are introverts who prefer our alone time.
One thing I’ve realized after 6 months in a relationship, is that love alone cannot save us. Only we can save ourselves. Love makes us feel good, and can temporarily give us the strength to make healthy changes, but love alone cannot save us.
We need time alone to remember who we are, and time together to grow in our differences; to practice deeper acceptance – both of ourselves and the other. I believe that love has the ability to transform us, but it is up to us to stay transformed (once the butterflies wear off).
Alone time is essential for our own self-reflection – without the thoughts and opinions of others – while togetherness is essential for the deepening of our courage to be our true selves in the presence of others. When we can continue doing self-growth work and self-honoring practices even in the midst of those we love, we have mastered the balance between being alone and being together; we have honed healthy boundaries and allowed our partner to do the same. We can express our needs, and above all, honor them.
Now go spend some time alone and get clear on you and your needs. Then come back and be in relationship to enjoy all the gifts of togetherness and companionship while remembering to stay true to your authentic self and your own needs in the process.