When you are with another, you must balance self-care with care for the other. It is easy to slip into the trap of feeling guilty for pursuing your own interests when another is around. But if you are in a healthy relationship – not a codependent one – this should not be an issue. You should both respect each other’s individual needs and give each other the space to honor those needs.
For me, it is exercise. I need my alone time to exercise and I simply don’t want to be bothered while I’m doing my routine. So, if my partner accidentally interrupts, I should not feel guilty for continuing to do what I’m doing verses stopping to accommodate his needs.
In all the moments I catch myself feeling guilty for practicing some act of self-care, while not paying attention to others, I now stop and remind myself: “I don’t have to feel guilty for being myself.” And furthermore, “I can forgive myself for being myself.”