You can’t change the way you feel even if you think you are being too “insensitive.” The truth is, the way you feel is the way you feel and ALL of what you do or do not feel is completely valid. It hurts when you wish you felt more compassion and empathy for someone who is grieving, or wish you could relate more to a friend going through a tough relationship, but if you can’t, you just can’t. Trying to “do more” or “be more” by overextending yourself or acting out of you true nature just to make them feel more comfortable, will only compromise your integrity and make you come out of alignment with who you really are.
So, yes, there will be times where you feel more shame and you feel more guilt because you want to do more but you don’t know how. In these moments ask your higher power to work through your actions in whatever way is best for all. This is you authentically being you and releases the burden of trying to help when it may not be your responsibility to.
When we give out of guilt, we collect resentment which harms our own bodies over time. Healthy boundaries are a most. Learning to surrender your ability to help is crucial. Practicing discernment on when to give and when not to give will bring you greater peace of mind. And releasing self-judgement for “being insensitive” will free you from the fear of not being enough.